We’re back with the second half of the first episode of Hey Arnold! I was going to put these together, but I prefer separating them so they’re easier to find as this retrospective progresses. Let’s dive into Eugene’s misfortune in Eugene’s Bike!
Eugene’s Bike starts with the kids at school trying to impress Arnold and Gerald with different things. Notably, Sheena shows off her scab, which looks like Texas if you squint hard. It also had two hairs protruding from it. Gross. Then Eugene comes rolling in on a badass new bike. It’s Flag Day, and his family exchanges gifts. Can I start that tradition at my house? I want Flag Day gifts. Ah, Eugene. He’s easily one of my least favorite characters in the series because he can be very annoying. He’s that typical kid we all knew in school who wasn’t trying to be irritating; they just were. Eugene is such a friendly kid that it’s hard to root against him, even if he’s annoying. He’s wanted this bike his whole life, so you know that thing is going to get destroyed in short order.
Arnold tries to tie his shoe, knocking over the entire rack of bikes and pushing Eugene’s bike into the street, where it gets run over by a street sweeper. That thing is toast. Arnold does the right thing and tries to fix Eugene’s bike with what appears to be an electric pizza cutter in a scene where he resembles a mad scientist. It was as good as new until Eugene started riding it, and Arnold’s pig Abner brought him the brake cable. Eugene runs into a car door after the handlebars come off, and he ends up in the hospital.
Arnold continues his reign of terror in the hospital by messing up Eugene’s bed and knocking the numbers 339 to 336 on the door, which leads to the doctors performing an unnecessary tonsillectomy on Eugene. I’d tell this kid never to come near me again if he brought all this negativity to me, but man, was this a great sequence. He then has a flashback that shows him doing all these random things that also put Eugene in peril when he was younger. All this stuff is cracking me up. This child has been through so much, and yet he still maintains a positive outlook on life.
Arnold decides to make all of the things he’s done up to Eugene with a day of fun. Things don’t change as Eugene does the following: trips in a sewer, gets hit by a home run, chokes on a hot dog, gets hit with the hot dog in the eye after he spits it out, and falls in the river after his binoculars break off. You couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried, and it had me laughing out loud. The misery this kid has endured is inexplicable. Arnold looks like Satan right now. Yet, Eugene is still happy and had a great time. Life, indeed, is what you make of it. Eugene leaves on the bus and gets his arm crunched in the door.
What an episode! It was hilarious! I’ve seen it many times by now, and it still gets me every time. They went so far as to put Eugene through the wringer while still conveying that being bitter doesn’t solve anything. It was a great message and an entertaining way of telling the story. If you’ve never seen this episode, go to Paramount Plus and check it out. You won’t regret it.
I enjoyed Eugene’s Bike more than Downtown as Fruits in this first episode. I think they had more of the Hey Arnold identity in the second part of the episode. The first part seemed like a concept for the show because it was probably the pilot. I’m not sure if I’ll be this detailed in all my retrospectives, but it’s fitting for the first one, at least. I’m sure this will continue to evolve.
Do you remember this episode? Let us know in the comments.
